problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
