Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
