Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
