the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I love how my cats smell like pot.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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