He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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