i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I believe in your delicious
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
