Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize