Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
