mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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