If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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