Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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