9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
