Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
