I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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