i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
