I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
