Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
