Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
