Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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