i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
