careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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