so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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