what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
