i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
