1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
