why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
