Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
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Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
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im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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