i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
