i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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