All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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