im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize