dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My vagina just recognized that song.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
