Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
