Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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