haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize