So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
