I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
