My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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