I accidentally burped into my bong.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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