Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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