Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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