votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
