i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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