I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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