We won't sleep together?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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