So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
