Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
