Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
