I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
