i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize