and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
