out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I want to fling myself into the sun
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize