I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
