i just wanna soil my oats bro
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
