soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize