So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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